Haphazard Journal #18: 24

Another year older.

Who would have thought that life can sometimes be dull? Well I must agree that life is a roller-coaster. There is up and down and even a flat line somewhere in the middle.

Who would have thought that it will cross my mind that I might not be able to be who I wanted to be or that maybe just maybe I’m not good enough for my dream.

24. It’s scary, isn’t it? Or am I just being overreacted? Through the fact that I’m probably gonna stay this way or not in any way gonna be better.

It is a weird stage of age.

Some of my friends are getting married. Some of them are having kids. Some of them are on top of their career. Some of them are just starting their career and some of them haven’t even finished college just yet.

At this age, it’s really easy to drift apart. People come and go. There are some people that you were once close with but now you are not. And there are also some people that you were not close before but now you are. Truth be told, that is totally okay. That’s a part of life.

Now, it’s terrifying to be attached to someone because you never know that this person will stay or only pass by. In the end, you need to be able to adapt with your surroundings, quickly as life goes on. It will never wait for you.

24. Mom begins to bother me with the question of getting married. In fact, I don’t think that this idea has ever crossed my mind, at least until now. It’s still far from my head and even my future plan. As of today, my goal is to be happy, feel secure, overcome my insecurities and getting a master degree. But, more importantly giving just a taste of happiness to my parents from my own sweat.

24. The future holds uncertainty and it is daunting. Right now, all I know is that I am grateful to be where I am now though it may be not where or what I want to be doing. I am grateful for the people around me who have shown me endless support and joy.

To those who have stayed in my life thus far and little did they know have helped me to be where I am right now and to make me who I am, I’d like to say thank you.

And to me, you’re 24. Enjoy your life to the fullest!

Yours Truly.